


Looks vs. Words

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode: s07e13 The Cold, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-05
Updated: 2011-12-05
Packaged: 2019-05-30 14:18:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15098399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: The Cold.





	Looks vs. Words

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

He had been caught up in thought, soaking in her relaxed, almost  
inviting look and reminiscing over how her lips had felt against his  
that morning-that morning that seemed so far away now. That's why  
when the envelope containing her hotel key slid across the table,  
and her open gaze met his from across the table, he had been shocked  
and almost stunned.  
Whoa...did she just? Does this mean she wants? Can we? This is going  
to affect the campaign. Maybe I should run it by...  
And all of a sudden Edie is offering to take the abandoned room key  
back to Donna, who is out in the lobby. Josh quickly, yet casually,  
stumbles over his protest, to no avail. Edie is already half away  
across the room before he realizes just how poorly he had messed  
this up.  
Why can't I just do one thing right? Josh mentally chastises  
himself.  
Donna's expression as she retrieves the key from Edie is  
heartbreaking to Josh. She looks confused, hurt and slightly annoyed  
all in one. He knows that the two steps forward they had taken this  
morning had been offset by three giant leaps back-all courtesy of  
his anxiety, over-analysis and lack of speed.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~  
Josh finds himself knocking on the door, holding his breath as his  
hand is braced in front of the door.  
"Josh...you're the last person I expected here tonight." Comes the  
curious tone from behind the white door.  
"I'm...I'm really sorry to bother you, Leo, but...uh...I was hoping  
we could talk." He runs a hand through his hair, his signature  
nervous habit.  
Leo offers a small smile and opens the door to allow Josh into the  
room. " Make yourself at home, kid. I don't want to hear about  
polls or pundits tonight. I'm taking one hour before I go to bed to  
finish my crossword and catch reruns of old 80's sitcoms."  
Josh can't contain the smile that escapes his lips as he settles on  
the couch in Leo's suite. " It sounds like you're really busy, so I  
won't keep you long."  
"It's no problem. What's on your mind? You seemed distracted today.  
Okay, more distracted than normal." Leo comes out of the kitchen,  
handing Josh a can of ginger ale.  
Josh's eyebrows raise at the proffered drink.  
"They clear out the mini bar before I stay in a suite, and I figured  
it would do you good to avoid caffeine this late at night. So, you  
were about to tell me..." Leo's eyes widen in anticipation as takes  
a seat opposite Josh in an arm chair.  
Licking his lips, Josh leans forward, bracing himself for this  
potentially awkward conversation. "Leo, when Jenny told you she  
wanted to separate, that must have felt terrible-like you had  
screwed up your relationship and you'd never get a second  
chance...right?"  
Leo's gaze in narrowed in confusion, but he nods.  
Josh continues. "Well, that's sorta how I feel right now. I feel  
like, for once in nine years, I really don't have a chance of making  
things work with Donna."  
"What happened? What did you do, Josh?" Leo snaps quickly, in that  
tone that only a father-figure can use when he's reprimanding a  
child.  
Josh's head drops, practically into his lap. "We were both really  
caught up in the excitement of the release of the poll numbers and  
we...God, we shared the most amazing kiss. And then I was a jerk and  
I tried to apologize for it...not because I didn't want it, or  
because she didn't want it to happen, but because I thought it still  
might be inappropriate. And then...Leo...She still forgave me for  
fumbling. She still wanted to make this work after that. She tried  
to give me her hotel key in the bar, only I wasn't quick enough and  
Edie grabbed it instead and took it back to Donna. The look on her  
face made me want to pull my hair out."  
Leo grins impishly. "Well, it's a good thing you didn't because  
you're losing more hair by the day, Josh....Okay, so you screwed up  
a simple key transaction, and you're worried Donna will infer that  
as a rejection or disinterest?."  
Josh bobs his head, suddenly hopeful that perhaps Leo, his greatest  
role-model, can help him salvage his doomed relationship.  
"Why don't you just explain what happened and tell her that, in  
fact, you'd be more than delighted to pursue a wholesome courtship  
with her?" Leo nods firmly, standing up.  
"Wholesome courtship? Leo, we've been dancing around each other for  
nine years!" Josh practically squeals.  
Shaking his head affectionately, Leo smirks and pats Josh on the  
back. "Yeah, but keep in mind that this will be the last woman you  
will ever date, and that she has been waiting nine years for you to  
pull your head out of your ass. She deserves only the best."  
"What if I screw up? Leo, what if she leaves me?" Josh's nervous  
fidgeting has stopped, and suddenly anxiety and nerves are replaced  
by fear and open insecurity.  
"You mean like she did before? I think you're going to have to  
realize at some point that there is a difference between your  
professional lives and personal lives. Donna will not always work in  
the same building as you. But if you can learn to trust her, to  
really expose your heart and express your feelings, than she will  
never leave you personally." As he stands leaning against the wall  
in the hallway, Leo looks resigned and regretful. It's obvious he is  
counting his own mistakes.  
Josh leans in the doorjamb and contemplates Leo's advise. " I can't  
stand to lose her, Leo."  
"Then you've got to tell her that. Make sure she knows everything."  
Leo tells him simply.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~  
He had tried passing her a note across the long conference table the  
next morning. The note that had read " We need to talk."had been  
passed across the table and ended up at Bram's place setting. Bram's  
eyebrows had raised in surprise upon reading the message and now  
everyone thinks Josh has some personal attraction to the younger  
man. Donna had, with professional poise, successfully avoided Josh's  
intense gaze and dominating presence all that day. Through travel,  
meetings and a rally, Donna had ignored Josh or managed to  
communicate to him through the staff. She was sending a clear  
signal; she wasn't going out of her way to put herself out for him  
anymore.  
Just when Josh was about to give up for the day, he spots Donna  
conversing with Ronna in the hotel lobby. Josh calls goodbye to the  
group of staff following him into the building and drops his cell  
phone into his coat pocket. With two or three giant steps, he is at  
Donna's side, a wide, innocent smile plastered on his face.  
"Good evening, ladies. Heading up to your rooms?" He positions  
himself between the two of them.  
Ronna rolls her eyes. " The congressman said we could get a few  
hours of relaxation tonight, remember?"  
"Josh hasn't grasped the concept of relaxation, Ronna. Just ignore  
him." Donna deadpans, no trace of a smile present on her expression,  
which is focused on the younger woman. "Have a good night. I'll see  
you at staff tomorrow."  
"Night."Ronna smiles awkwardly and head toward the bank of elevators  
off to the side.  
Donna swings her tote bag over her shoulder and is about to make her  
way toward a group of Santos campaign staff over to the right when  
Josh lightly tugs her elbow.  
"Josh..."  
"I've wanted to talk to you since yesterday morning." Josh admits  
breathlessly. "I just...I screwed up a couple of times."  
"I would be upset, but I'm so used to it I'm impervious." Donna  
remarks, her eyes drifting the floor.  
"We need to discuss the kiss and...the key and...the confluence of  
events that got us to this place." Josh's eyes are boring into  
Donna's, and for once there is no hint of hidden pretenses,  
misdirection or masked emotions. He is an open book.  
Donna sighs out loud, her expression resigned. "Josh...I'm so tired  
of this. Nine years of flirting and banter and friendship and  
undefined professional relationship and I can't do this anymore.  
Last night was the last straw. Maybe I...maybe I misread the  
signals. When we kissed I thought it meant that you really wanted  
me. And then you started to apologize and pass it off as  
inappropriate and I didn't want to lose my cool and look like some  
freak that's been pining after you all these years so I dismissed  
it. Then I talked to Will and CJ- because they could tell how  
excited I was at the prospect of starting a real relationship with  
you- and they didn't seem at all surprised that we had a personal  
relationship. In fact, Will encouraged me to go after it and assured  
me that it wasn't inappropriate." Donna exhales deeply and relaxes,  
her gaze dropping to the ground. "So...I decided to take the next  
step and show you that I was ready to start something serious. And  
then you...God, Josh...I don't know if I can handle the teasing, the  
ogling eyes the stolen kisses anymore. I need to know for sure where  
we stand. I think you're afraid to jump head first into this, and I  
think you're afraid of mixing your work and your love life. I  
need...."  
She is cut-off mid-sentence by Josh's firm lips pressing demandingly  
against hers. Instantly, Donna's body begins to react to the kiss in  
the familiar way that it had yesterday. Although today's kiss is  
much more passionate, much more exploring and soul-searching than  
the previous one. The one they had shared in the heat of the moment  
yesterday had caught them off guard, and as a result they had been  
tentative, exploring and they had taken it slow. Now, one of Josh's  
hands is kneading Donna's shoulders underneath her coat, and the  
other is grasping at her hand. Donna's free hand is brushing Josh's  
chin, neck and chest frantically.  
After a few seconds, an alarm bell in Donna's brain begins to sound  
loudly. She brings her hand around to grab Josh's and she brings  
both of their pairs of entwined hands between their bodies and  
slowly, lazily reclaims her lips.  
"Donna..."  
Donna's eyes dart around the lobby nervously. " Josh, do you realize  
half of the senior campaign staff are staring at us right now?"  
Josh's grin tells her the campaign is the farthest thing from his  
mind. He rubs her knuckles between his fingers. "Shsh. None of that  
matters. I should have told you, years ago, how much you mean to me.  
I just...I was so afraid that if you didn't feel the same way...I  
was so afraid you'd leave. Everybody I let close to my heart, with  
the exception of my mother and Leo, ends up getting hurt or leaving  
me."  
"All you ever had to do was tell me, Josh. I'm not a mind-reader. I  
need more than heated looks. I need to hear the words." Donna tells  
him in a whisper, her forehead resting against his.  
Josh places a delicate kiss to her cheek, his face an explosion of  
nervous excitement, expectation and joy. "Why don't you come up to  
my room? I have a feeling that nine years of confession will take  
hours."  
Donna leans back to see Josh's facial expression, knowing that this  
is the final plunge; either she is in or not. And from Josh's open,  
honest and expectant look, Donna realizes that he will not let her  
down this time and that she finally receive the confirmation she had  
been seeking "Okay". She nods shyly.  
Slipping an arm around to the small of Donna's back and gently  
guiding her to the elevators, Josh has a moment to reflect and  
consider. He is aware that his entire relationship with Donna is  
riding on the impending conversation and that he will have to figure  
out a way to articulate all of the jumbled, amazing, suffocating,  
intoxicating sometimes overwhelming feelings he has for the woman he  
had been enamored with for nearly a decade. But now he knows that  
she truly cares about him as well, and that he can make this work  
and she won't abandon him. And for the first time he feels his heart  
soaring at the thought of finally trusting the woman he loves.


End file.
